Fall is finally in the air, and with it is the taste of peace, love, and everything pumpkin. I love this time of year, mostly because it brings people and their constitutions–diverse and complicated as they may be–together in some way, shape, or form.
I recently took my daughter shopping with me. She’s two years old, so as any parent of any two-year-old or former two-year-old knows–it’s not always an easy endeavor. There are mood swings to navigate and consider dependent upon nap times, duration of naps in question, mealtimes, snack times, and just how the general demeanor has progressed throughout the course of the day.
On this particular shopping trip, my daughter and I were next in line when the computer system had some malfunction during the woman’s transaction ahead of me. My tiny two-year-old tot of emotions next to me was in the initial stages of the “I-don’t-want-to-stand-here-stationary-with-you-one-more-minute-without-a-meltdown” song and dance. She’s shared that particular performance in stores before. This wasn’t exactly something I was afraid of, yet, it was that time of day, the catastrophe of the computer system in front of me, and the length of the line that made me grow more aware of the situation, as my intentions were to try to prevent a screaming toddler from closing out everyone’s evening of shopping in peace.
Then, a remarkable thing happened. An elderly couple, mid-70s if I had to make a guess, began talking to her beside me. They asked her about her dog that she carries with her everywhere, and they complimented her shoes. The wife asked her if she liked to dance. Music was playing, so her response to that question was to actually start dancing. This seems like a typical evening for any parent, maybe not one any should go on to write about, but what happened next is why it mattered to me.
I walked away that night feeling grateful to two strangers for being kind. They diffused a growing situation in which my attempts were futile to keep her from exploding into a tantrum, and they enjoyed my daughter’s interaction with them while telling me about their grandchildren.
Sometimes, it’s easy to blow by moment after moment and not really live in it–take it in, inhale it completely, release it through your skin, and marinate in it after it’s gone.
Three dear friends of mine have all had real-life events happen in the last week. Each of them, strangers to each other, leaned on me very hard during their tribulations. I was grateful that I’m considered a strong enough person and friend to carry that weight with them. The one thing I noticed about each of their situations was that they had three things in common:
- The solution and often opportunity within the problem involves risk. Taking a chance on people, breaking what exists to make it stronger, or realizing it’s breaking in the wrong parts. Beginnings have to mean the end of something else, and playing it safe every time can mean that sometimes you’re only playing against yourself.
- Walking away does not equal weakness. We make choices every single day. Some of them are huge, some of them are small, and some of them we never think about again and, yet, they open a door to something huge. And there we are, front and center with our destiny, wondering how we could have ever arrived without those insignificant details from before. I pray for strength all of the time, and most of the time, it’s because I feel like I need more of it. The truth is, looking back and seeing how far you’ve come is the strongest testament of perseverance–especially when you know the integrity of your fight along the way.
- Relevancy is what we decide it becomes. We choose to believe so much and so little, and when the game changes (with or without our permission) we have to decide the focal point of our position and goalpost moving forward. What someone else determines is relevant does not mean it is relevant for you too.
The waters never stay calm for long for any of us. Along the way, the tide continues to change, the seas grow increasingly rough, and sometimes our boat capsizes without our ever understanding how it could happen when we didn’t see it coming.
The best part of loving the God that I know and trust, and whom I know loves me back, is that whatever happens isn’t a surprise to everyone. Everyone in my universe doesn’t get blindsided and caught off-guard. He sees it coming from a million miles away. Disappointment’s swift-kick to the chest without warning comes when it is supposed to, and no matter how big or small, those blows are survivable. I’ve learned more about myself, about life, and about how to coexist with change in this life through some of the best and worst feelings/experiences I’ve ever had. You can decide that whatever tries to destroy your constitution doesn’t get to, and it certainly doesn’t get to decide how wrecked you’re allowed to feel after the episode.
Open your window of perspective up each day to see how–despite not knowing the ramifications of the event later–the details happening now are a contributing factor in some way, good or bad, and leading you to the next version of yourself.
Appreciate kindness without judgment, and know that no whale can swallow you in the sea forever.
Tomorrow is a new day. God bless,
M
Blue Withens 